Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
