return my video game
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
