at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
