Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
