it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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