Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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