Duck Duck Cougar?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
