All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
