The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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