I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
