This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The air was thick with penises
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
