just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
