i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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