Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
