had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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