You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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