i permit you to call me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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