And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My dick has a subreddit
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
