So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I did not marry a roomba.
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