i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
