He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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