Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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