do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
