my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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