but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
