I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
