just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
