He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
