God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
