He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
