i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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