Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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