lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
