We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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