Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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