it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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