you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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