the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
