It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
