just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
did you just send me my own nude
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
