Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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