I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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