Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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