Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
