Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
