Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
