I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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