i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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