its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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