He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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