if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
