im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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