they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
