How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
