I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im part way to drunk.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
