dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
