Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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