tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My dick has a subreddit
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
