I wanna passion pit in your ass
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
