If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
