dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
love makes seman taste better
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
