We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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