holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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