Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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