They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
