I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
