this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
