Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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