we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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